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Terminology Aussie Style

Log On......Make the barbie hotter

Log Off......Don't add any more wood

Monitor......Keeping an eye on the barbie

Download......Get the firewood off the ute

Floppy Disc......What you get lifting too much firewood at once

Window......What you shut when it's cold

Screen......What you shut in the mozzie season

Byte......What mozzies do

Bit......What mozzies did

Mega Byte......What Townsville mozzies do

Chip......A bar snack

Micro Chip......What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips

Modem......What you did to the lawns

Dot Matrix......Old Dan Matrix's wife

Laptop......Where the cat sleeps

Software......Plastic knives and forks you get at Big Rooster

Hardware......Real stainless steel knives and forks from K Mart

Mouse......What eats the grain in the shed

Mainframe......What holds the shed up

Web......What spiders make

Web Site......The shed or under the verandah

Cursor......The old bloke that swears a lot

Search Engine......What you do when the ute won't go

Upgrade......A steep hill

Server......The person at the pub that brings out the counter lunch

Mail Server......The bloke at the pub that brings out the counter lunch

User......The neighbour who keeps borrowing things

Network......When you have to repair your fishing net

Internet......Complicated fish net repair method

Netscape......When fish manoeuvres out of reach of net

Online......When you get the laundry hung out

Off Line......When the pegs don't hold the washing up