A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan Bank, tells the teller that she has $5,000,000.00 in cash to be used to open an account. However, before she just hands over that much money, she would like to meet the man who runs things.
The teller calls the bank president, and arranges the meeting. The lady goes into his office, and after introductions are made, the bank president asks the lady how she came to have so much cash on hand.
The lady tells him that she's an avid gambler. The bank president says "You must be the luckiest person that I've ever met, to win so much!" "No" replies the lady, "I will only bet on a sure thing, and since I am somewhat gifted with the ability to see the future, ALL of my bets are sure things."
The bank president smiles and says "No, it must be luck madam. There is no such thing as a sure thing". "I'll prove it!" says the lady. She then closes her eyes and starts to hum softly for about 30 seconds. "O.K...I have looked into your future and I'm afraid there's bad news. By 8:00 a.m tomorrow, your testicles will have changed shape and will be perfectly square."
The bank president is starting to think this lady is nuts, so he tells her that he has no more time for this malarky and he would like for her to leave. The lady refuses, and proposes a wager. The man declines until the old lady says "Look, I'll bet you $5,000.00 that by 8:00 tomorrow morning, your testicles will be square! What have you got to lose? You claim I can't win - there's no such thing as A sure thing...right?" By this the bank pres. is really starting to dislike this old broad, and not only would he enjoy teaching her a lesson, he could use the $5K. "O.K fine!" he yells "You got a bet!".
"Wonderful!" proclaims the lady, "I'll see you 1st thing tomorrow. Do you mind if my attorney accompanies me? I always have him present for wagers over $500.00." The man replies "Lady, I don't care who you bring, as long as you bring the money!"
That night the bank president has some strange dreams, and what the lady said is really starting to get to him. The next morning, he's greatly releaved to see that everything is the same shape as always. He dresses, and goes to the bank where he finds the lady and a man waiting for him.
"Well" says the lady, "Do you want to have the money deposited into my new account, or do you have cash?"
The bank pres. smiles and replies "I feel bad doing this, but nutty old dames like you need to be taught a lesson sometimes, and I know that you can afford it, so it is you that must pay. You see, my testicles are the same shape they've always been. Not the slightest bit square." "What!" cries the lady, "That can't be!! I never imagined that it would come to this, but I won't pay one cent until I've examined the testicles myself!"
The bank pres. blushes with embarrassment, but finally replies "Under the circumstances, I suppose that's not unreasonable" and with that he drops his pants. The lady gets on her knees to grasp him, and her attorney screams "DAMMIT YOU OLD BAT!! YOU'VE DONE IT TO ME AGAIN!!" and he hands her $15,000.00 in cash.
At this point the bank president is completely lost. "What in the hell was that all about?" he asks. "Oh," says the lady as she carefully puts the money into her bag "I bet him that I would literally have the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank by the balls before 9:00 this morning. So here's the $5,000.00 that I lost to you, and please add the other $10,000.00 to my new account" |
